After years of waiting...we did it! Ellyana went for her 1st haircut...it was an AMAZING experience and I learned a lot!
Just to gain perspective...this is how her hair started when we brought her home. I had this false idea that because my hair is curly I would know what to do with hers.
After LOTS of trial and error, TONS of products tried, sleep caps, satin pillowcases, video tutorials watched, friends and strangers talked to about her hair, did I mention products tried? 3 years later her hair had grown a lot. It was probably over 12 inches long and hung past the middle of her back when wet & combed out. I had snipped out little knots along the way but no major haircut.
Then came this summer. 3 weeks at the beach and pool with her hair in a ponytail each day...left the ends of her hair very lightened and damaged from the sun. I had worked hard to not let the chlorine do too much damage...but the sun had taken a major toll on her hair.
We tried to make it work. I have long had a dream of big, beautiful hair for her and cutting it seemed like it would put the end to the dream. The ends were so much lighter than the rest of her hair a few African American girls asked if I had gotten her "tips lightened". No, it was just damaged hair that I was holding on to.
So I finally got the point where she
needed it cut. I started to be very deliberate in asking around to try to connect with an African American salon. I was in it as much for a good haircut as getting some good advice.
The strange situation was when I would ask African American women with beautiful hair where they got their hair done the most common answers were...my family member does it, it is extensions, or it is a "girlfriend" (aka wig), or they got it done at just a regular salon (not ethnic specifically).
So I connected with a beauty supply store and they said they have someone that has a salon that comes into get supplies that is nice. So I called the salon, I made an appointment. I pulled up that day, the place was between a liquor store and shady lingerie store. The salon wasn't open. I started to feel strange about things for many reasons. I kept giving myself the "it is good to get out of your comfort zone" talk. We waited for a long time past our appointment time and finally a few workers came. Basically, the stylist would not wait on us. Of course, I could read into it think it was because I am a white mama but the reality is the place felt so shady I wasn't even sure hair styling was their main business. It was fine to leave.
It shook me up but it was time for a new approach. Our neighbor tutors an African-American model so she offered to connect me with her for a "good" place. A few e-mails later and we found out about this AMAZING ethnic salon about 25 minutes from our house. They were excited about having us come. The owner even came in on her day off to work us in for an appointment for Ellyana's hair.
The place was WAY nicer than any place I have
ever been for my hair. It was busy, the people (stylist and clients were sooo kind). They gushed over Ellyana. And I felt NO criticism from them. I got to be a student for the morning learning lots of things. Ellyana got treated like a queen (she enjoyed it for awhile but for 1 1/2 hours...we had to give her some treats to stay in her seat ;)
First, they (the owner and her assistant) washed it. Then they twisted it all up to even get to the chair. They were concerned all morning that the curls would "lock up". Not sure exactly but I think it has to do with it needing to be in the style you want it before it dries or it is unmanageable (have been there many times before...now I know to call it "locking up"). Then it was trimmed, twisted up again, she set under the dryer, then it was touched up and she got a little braid across her bangs. The bangs were super short so the owner felt that is what she needed to help it grow back out. I thought the short bangs were from all breakage from the ponytails. Come to find out a few days later... chunks of hair behind Ellyana's door...she had cut her own bangs before we had went to the salon...no wonder they were SO short.
The things I learned that day...
*natural hair is the hardest to maintain
* the hair needs to be gathered as much as the time as you can so it will lock the moisture in (even with sleep caps...nothing is as good as having the hair twisted with itself to keep the moisture in)
*in the summer she needs a hat on (there is no better protection than a hat)
*hair needs actual shampoo every week or two...we had been doing a lot of co-washing (conditioner wash)... but she said the hair needs to get all the product out of it so it doesn't continue just to build up
*I kept asking but... there is no magic product...she is just a baby, she kept saying. Just FYI... we mostly use Biolage Detangler with Light Moisture and Biolage Ultra-Hydrating Conditioner/Shampoo. There are about 15 other things in our cabinet that we use sometimes but the Biolage stuff is what we use most often. My big thing is that I didn't want something greasy or that made her smell older than her age. So these have worked pretty well for us.
*and that I should be getting her hair trimmed more often for healthy hair. Yes, 3 years was too long of a wait ;)
The stylist figure out that I was so sad to see Ellyana's hair get short so she said she was only going to trim the worst of the ends because if she cut off all the discoloration it would seem very short.
So by time we saw Aunt Bonnie, I was ready to get the rest of the ends trimmed off and she so kindly did that for us. I am super happy now with the final product. It is healthy and happy hair. And with all the new advice I learned...I am hoping to keep it that way!
